| Qpid |
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 On the way to Tagus III to give an archaeological presentation, Jean-Luc is visited out of the blue by Vache from his Captain's Holiday. She immediately makes herself at home in Jean-Luc's quarters.
Early next morning, while sharing coffee and croissants with Vache, the captain's door bell rings. With a look that meekly suggests "deep merde", Jean-Luc answers the door to greet Beverly. |
| Beverly | I'm sorry I'm late. Oh, excuse me, I didn't realise you had company. |
| Jean-Luc | Ah, that's alright. Ah, allow me to introduce you. This is Beverly, doctor Beverly, doctor doctor Beverly Crusher. This is, erm, Vache. She's a friend of mine from the archaeology council. |
| Beverly | I didn't mean to interrupt. The captain and I often share morning tea together. |
| Vache | Yes, I know. Jean-Luc has told me all about you. |
| Beverly | Really ? When was that ? |
| Vache | On Risa, where we met. |
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I see. Well that must have been during your vacation last year. |
| J-Luc | No. Yes. Yes. |
| Beverly | Well, I am surprised he didn't mention you. |
| Vache | So am I. Doctor, are you busy ? |
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Not at the moment. |
| Vache | I was wondering. I would love to see some more of this marvellous ship. |
| Beverly | I would be delighted to show it to you. |
| J-Luc | I, erm.... |
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That is, if it's alright with you, Jean-Luc ? |
| J-Luc | Of course. |
| Vache | Don't worry, I promise to behave myself. |
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Beverly takes Vache to Ten-Forward. |
| It appears that Vache knows about all the captain's crew-mates, but he has never mentioned her, not even a hint. |
| Jean-Luc explains to Vache that a starship captain does not discuss his "inappropriate personal feelings" with his crew. Vache storms out, apologising for the embarrassment her presence bring to the captain. |
| When the already disgruntled captain returns to his ready room, he is greeted by Q "How about a big hug ?". Since Jean-Luc had talked Q out of committing suicide, the mischievous one had returned to pay back the favour. Sensing that Jean-Luc is upset by and cares for the disreputable Vache, Q warns that this woman will lead Jean-Luc to his destruction, and plots to teach the captain a lesson. |
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As Jean-Luc starts his archaeology presentation, the senior staff suddenly find themselves wearing clothing from a Robin Hood story. |
| In an instant they reappear in Sherwood Forest. | |
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"That makes you Robin Hood". |
| Robin Hood (Jean-Luc) has to rescue Maid Marion (Vache) before her head is separated from the rest of her body the following day. Worf protests "I am not a merry man !" before casually relieving Geordi of his twanging mandolin and smashing it to bits with one almighty blow against a tree. "Sorry". |
| Picard tries to rescue Vache, but gets caught. As they walk towards their execution, the disobedient Riker and co appear and make a successful double rescue. |
| Q returns the crew to the archaeology presentation after pointing out to Jean-Luc how close he came to death for the love of a woman, a woman who then goes on her merry way with Q after a sloppy one with the oblivious Jean-Luc. |
| What have we learnt about the love quadrangle ? |
| Q fancies Q Q likes Vache ("such duplicity") Q feels for Johnny (maybe I ought to have appeared in female form at Far Point) Q is not interested in Beverly |
| Vache gets on well with Q Vache fancies the captain Vache and Beverly get on just fine |
| Jean-Luc hates Q Jean-Luc has the hots for Vache Jean-Luc would like to get it together under the sheets with Bev (probably) |
| Beverly is not too keen on Q Beverly and Vache get on just fine Beverly would like to get it together under the sheets with Jean-Luc (almost definitely) |