Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844-1930) was Dean and Warden of New College, Oxford. Although a gifted conversationalist, he was frequently prone to the verbal slips which came to be known as 'spoonerisms'. The word spoonerism is defined as 'an accidental transposition of the initial sounds, or other parts, of two or more words'. Examples of Spooner's mangled phrases are: "Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and have been caught fighting a liar in the quad; you will leave Oxford by the town drain." (on dismissing an undergraduate); "Kinquering Congs their titles take." (when announcing the hymn in New College Chapel); and, "Let us glase our asses and toast the queer old dean." (When toasting Queen Victoria).
|You will find as you grow older that the weight of rages will press harder and harder upon the employer.|
I remember your name perfectly, but I just can't think of your face.
May I sew you a sheet?
I keep my icicle well boiled.
The weather report says it will either drain or rizzle, with possible shattered scowers.
When he lost the game, he received a blushing crow.
There's a saying, 'It never pains, but it roars'.
I don't like to eat parrots and keys.
I have in my breast a half-warmed fish.
|Stop nicking your pose||Go help me sod|
|Hyperdemic nurdle||My zips are lipped|
|Ready as a stock||Drain bamage|
|Tarp as a shack||Better nate than lever|
|Learn on the tight||Wouble with my turds|
|Spork, fife and noon||Putting the coarse before the heart|
|Happy you near!||Raining dats and cogs|
|A dot in the shark||Absitively and posolutely|
|Chiggers can't be boozers||I have a headache. Do you have a cane pillar?|
|I need a caring person to tease my ears||I'm filthy! I'm going to shake a tower!|
|The road is full of hot poles||Up in flames! What a fuel crate!|
|Watch the boot fall over the pole ghost||Weed 'em and reap!|
|Young man, you have mad banners!||This is the pun fart|
Endive your heifers awe wit
Oil offer udder ain't here's
Day wooden late par Rude Alf
Thin wan fag he crushed mess heave
"Rude Alf wizard nodes soap right,
Den harder reigned here's sloughed dim
"Rude Alf a rat nose drained here,
Little Muss Miffet
A-spong came a lider,
|She accepted the jibe and stuffed the money in her bra.|
There was a breathless lush in the bar. He rose hazily to his feet.
His feckless riddles made him many enemies.
The Vikings came to village in pain.
In the red light district, the tourist experienced many horrid taunts.
Horses are blamed as a sudden lizard causes chaos in the Scottish highlands.
She flushed madly and her face showed blame.
His lively willy was a true work-horse, always game and filling.
The comedian's jokes were often hoarse and corny.
You'll have few private nights in the rudest colony.
His nose was Roman, his grin pure cheek.
With birds, a comfortable breast satisfies most needs.
The fumbling melons soon angered the judge.
The doctor soon became aroused by her sick tortured thighs.
Power mad, she regularly exhibited her extraordinary floppies.
To earn my lust, you'll have to stop trying so hard.
The great lizard, Merlin, fell wifeless to the ground.
It's mice to get in the nude.
Wine drinkers should take dress and leave the legs alone.
Her erotic dance featured a very paunchy pelvic rump.
Every man's dream - a musty billionairess.
Late at night, I enjoy a bad and soulful salad.
When walking in public, keep your tits about you at all times.
It was under the cover of a very dark blight when he first knew her.
He spent the whole of the tour staring at the bride's guests.
Ken would happily miss every part of her body.
He was shifty, but he still enjoyed an early morning fag.
|The Gee Bees|
The Fackson Jive
The Gice Spirls
Motherhood of Bran
Fight Said Red
Bun Toy Free
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