Spoonerisms

Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844-1930) was Dean and Warden of New College, Oxford. Although a gifted conversationalist, he was frequently prone to the verbal slips which came to be known as 'spoonerisms'. The word spoonerism is defined as 'an accidental transposition of the initial sounds, or other parts, of two or more words'. Examples of Spooner's mangled phrases are: "Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and have been caught fighting a liar in the quad; you will leave Oxford by the town drain." (on dismissing an undergraduate); "Kinquering Congs their titles take." (when announcing the hymn in New College Chapel); and, "Let us glase our asses and toast the queer old dean." (When toasting Queen Victoria).



Spore of Mooner's sayings

You will find as you grow older that the weight of rages will press harder and harder upon the employer.
I remember your name perfectly, but I just can't think of your face.
May I sew you a sheet?
I keep my icicle well boiled.
The weather report says it will either drain or rizzle, with possible shattered scowers.
When he lost the game, he received a blushing crow.
There's a saying, 'It never pains, but it roars'.
I don't like to eat parrots and keys.
I have in my breast a half-warmed fish.


Spixed Moons

(Work them out for yourself)

Stop nicking your pose Go help me sod
Hyperdemic nurdleMy zips are lipped
Ready as a stockDrain bamage
Tarp as a shackBetter nate than lever
Learn on the tightWouble with my turds
Spork, fife and noonPutting the coarse before the heart
Happy you near!Raining dats and cogs
A dot in the sharkAbsitively and posolutely
Chiggers can't be boozersI have a headache. Do you have a cane pillar?
I need a caring person to tease my earsI'm filthy! I'm going to shake a tower!
The road is full of hot polesUp in flames! What a fuel crate!
Watch the boot fall over the pole ghostWeed 'em and reap!
Young man, you have mad banners!This is the pun fart
 

Rude Alf
Rude Alf a rat nose drained here
Hatter furry Chinese snows

Endive your heifers awe wit
Hue woody fence hay igloos

Oil offer udder ain't here's
Hue stool often column aims

Day wooden late par Rude Alf
Joy none nanny reigned here gains

Thin wan fag he crushed mess heave
Cinder camp two's hay

"Rude Alf wizard nodes soap right,
Wincher glide mice lay tune height?"

Den harder reigned here's sloughed dim
End hay shorted taught briskly,

"Rude Alf a rat nose drained here,
Yule hoedown an hissed airy!"

Bingle Jells
Dishing true doors know, inner wan hose soapings lay,
Odor filled swig ho, lofting oil dare weigh,
Bills sun bulb tell rang, mocking spare its sprite,
Wart farmer tests toe raid end sinkers lying zonked unite!

(Coarse):
Gin gulp bills, gin gulp bills,
Gin glean old away,
Or wart farmer tests toe raid
Inner wan hose soapings lay!
(Reap eat)

Little Muss Miffet
Little Muss Miffet
Tats on a siffet,
Wheating her erds and kay.

A-spong came a lider,
And side-sat bedown her,
And whitened Miss Frightfoot a muff.


A Mew Sore Foons

She accepted the jibe and stuffed the money in her bra.
There was a breathless lush in the bar. He rose hazily to his feet.
His feckless riddles made him many enemies.
The Vikings came to village in pain.
In the red light district, the tourist experienced many horrid taunts.
Horses are blamed as a sudden lizard causes chaos in the Scottish highlands.
She flushed madly and her face showed blame.
His lively willy was a true work-horse, always game and filling.
The comedian's jokes were often hoarse and corny.
You'll have few private nights in the rudest colony.
His nose was Roman, his grin pure cheek.
With birds, a comfortable breast satisfies most needs.
The fumbling melons soon angered the judge.
The doctor soon became aroused by her sick tortured thighs.
Power mad, she regularly exhibited her extraordinary floppies.
To earn my lust, you'll have to stop trying so hard.
The great lizard, Merlin, fell wifeless to the ground.
It's mice to get in the nude.
Wine drinkers should take dress and leave the legs alone.
Her erotic dance featured a very paunchy pelvic rump.
Every man's dream - a musty billionairess.
Late at night, I enjoy a bad and soulful salad.
When walking in public, keep your tits about you at all times.
It was under the cover of a very dark blight when he first knew her.
He spent the whole of the tour staring at the bride's guests.
Ken would happily miss every part of her body.
He was shifty, but he still enjoyed an early morning fag.


Stop Pars

The Gee Bees
Mean Darting
Jungo Merry
The Fackson Jive
Wuddy Maters
Jick Magger
The Gice Spirls
Buck Cherry
Spruce Bringsteen
Huddy Bolly
Bloody Mues
Rananabama
Spitney Brears
Parti Mellow
 Billa Clack
Rich Clichard
Sour Feasons
Tonnie Byler
Meetwood Flack
Peep Durple
Motherhood of Bran
Houstney Whiton
Chil Pollins
Mob Barley
Mad Banners
Stire Draits
Fight Said Red
Bun Toy Free

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