Mangled English

Part One

English can be such a beautiful language when used properly: many great literary masterpieces have been written in it and many eloquent speeches have been delivered in it; in the hands or on the tongues of the unwary, however ....

Warning!
No responsibility is assumed for injuries sustained due to excessive laughter!

Awful Adverts ~ Calamitous Claims ~ CV Craziness ~ Football Foul-ups
Holy Howlers ~ Legal Lunacy ~ Lost In Translation

<<< If you can take any more after reading this page, there's more madness on PAGE TWO >>>


Awful Adverts
These are all advertisements that have appeared in various places.

Dogs

From the Kitchen

Antiques

Holidays

Wanted

Services

Miscellaneous

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Calamitous Claims
The following are all actual quotes from car insurance claim forms.

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CV Craziness
These are all taken from real life résumés (actual spellings)

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Football Foul-ups
The following are genuine quotes from various football players and commentators.

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Holy Howlers
Notices posted on church bulletin boards.

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Legal Lunacy
The following are all actual questions asked by barristers during trials.

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Lost In Translation
Signs written in English that were posted in foreign countries.

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<<< When you've recovered from this page, go to PAGE TWO >>>


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