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Sci-Fi & Fantasy Authors ~ Classic Novels
| Morris West | Worst miser | Irving Wallace | Crawling alive |
| Alistair Maclean | I am a Satan caller | Anne McCaffrey | Fancy farce men |
| Patricia Cornwall | Now practical liar | Anne Rice | Acne rein |
| Joseph Wambaugh | Ha! Huge swamp job | Tom Robbins | Snort bimbo |
| Irving Stone | Onset virgin | Stephen King | He's pink gent |
| Virginia Andrews | Arid raving swine | Jackie Collins | Clinical jokes |
| Barbara Erskine | Ask brain-bearer | Dean Koontz | On zonk date |
| Catherine Cookson | No! A shock erection | Minette Walters | Master new title |
| Craig Thomas | Got charisma | Thomas Harris | Hash arms riot |
| Wilbur Smith | Hi! Bum twirls | James Herbert | Jeer them bras |
| Barbara Cartland | A drab carnal brat | Danielle Steel | Senile led tale |
| Michael Crichton | Chronic lame itch | Len Deighton | O! Thin legend |
| Robin Cook | Oi! Rock nob | Irvine Welsh | His new liver |
| Salman Rushdie | Smashed urinal | Clive Barker | Blacker river |
| Barbara Taylor Bradford | Dartboard far-away blob | Anita Brookner | Karate on Robin |
| Jilly Cooper | Jolly copier | Daphne du Maurier | Dream up nude hair |
| Ian Fleming | Failing men | Frederick Forsyth | Freed frisky torch |
| Stephen Hawking | A knight's nephew | Georgette Heyer | He regret ego yet |
| Susan Townsend | Now sadness nut | Joanna Trollope | Polar jet on loan |
| Enid Blyton | Tiny blonde | A. A. Milne | Am alien |
| Michael Bond | Him once bald | Bonnie Bryant | On brainy bent |
| Beverly Cleary | Very racy belle | Richmal Crompton | Imp-control charm |
| Roald Dahl | A hard doll | Lucy Daniels | A silly dunce |
| Paula Danziger | Pale Nazi guard | Mary Norton | Na! Try moron |
| Nina Bawden | I wanna bend | Alan Gibbons | Loan bin bags |
| Michael Hardcastle | Hell! Academic trash | Dick King Smith | Midnight kicks |
| Clive King | Given lick | Sheila Lavelle | Vile as hell ale |
| Clive Staples Lewis | Swap selective ills | Ann Martin | Mantra inn |
| Brian Morse | I'm rear snob | Willard Price | Ill wierd crap |
| Paul Shipton | Ha! Pupil snot | Kaye Umansky | May nuke a sky |
| Susan Coolidge | Uncle is good | Leon Garfield | Agile fondler |
| Charles Dickens | Clashed nickers | Thomas Hardy | Shy hot drama |
| Louisa May Alcott | Calamity to a soul | Charlotte Bronte | Once brothel tart |
| Marcel Proust | Creator's lump | Wilkie Collins | Nice! I kill slow |
| Joseph Conrad | Jo chased porn | Daniel Defoe | Do feed alien! |
| Alexandre Dumas | Damn! Sexual dare | Benjamin Disraeli | Is in breadline jam |
| William Faulkner | Kill weariful man | F. Scott Fitzgerald | Glazed strict toff |
| Emily Bronte | To merely bin | Ernest Hemmingway | Whimsy meaner gent |
| Rudyard Kipling | Aridly drunk pig | D. H. Lawrence | Drawn leech |
| Thomas Mann | Man shot man | George Orwell | Well, ogre gore |
| John Steinback | Ha! Inject knobs | Robert Louis Stevenson | Torn love-bite sourness |
| Anthony Trollope | He totally on porn | Mark Twain | Twin karma |
| Dame Agatha Christie | I am a right death case | Natasha Cooper | Aha! Not a corpse |
| Robert Charles | Brothels racer | Colin Dexter | Excel on dirt |
| Carole Nelson Douglas | Cool slanderous angel | Margaret Erskine | Sneakier rat germ |
| Simon Shaw | Smash wino | George Goodchild | Ogre godchild ego |
| John Grisham | Shh! Groin jam | Charles Leader | Sad career hell |
| Bob Langley | Angle lobby | Roger Ormerod | Groomed error |
| Miss Ruth Rendell | Hill's murder nest | Joy Fielding | Die, fling joy! |
| Dorothy Simpson | Not so dishy romp | Peter Robinson | Bones in report |
| Rex Stout | Sour text | Arthur Upfield | Laid further up |
| Terry Brooks | Story broker | Philip Jose Farmer | Oh! Frail pimp jeers |
| Terry Pratchett | Try pert chatter | Ursula Le Guin | Usual gin rule |
| Michael Moorcock | Calm comic hooker | Kim Stanley Robinson | Am loony-bin stinkers |
| William Gibson | I'm wailing slob | Piers Anthony | Horny panties |
| Stephen Baxter | Has bent experts | Arthur C. Clarke | The rural cracker |
| Harlan Ellison | Aliens all horn | Robert A. Heinlein | Bent heroine liar |
| Bruce Sterling | Cretin rubs leg | Marion Zimmer Bradley | My bizarre mild moaner |
| Orson Scott Card | Sod contractors! | Stephen R. Donaldson | Handles stoned porn |
| Allan Dean Foster | Fondle real Satan | Neil Gaiman | I'm alien nag |
| Robert E. Howard | Drat! Whore bore | Robert Rankin | Terror in bank |
| Storm Constantine | No intact monsters | Stanislaw Lem | Well ... Satanism |
| Robert Jordan | And terror job | Kim Newman | Men ink maw |
| Pride And Prejudice | Induce jaded ripper | Sense And Sensibility | Is tiny lesbian's needs |
| The Woman In White | With the mean wino | Great Expectations | Excite tart on pages |
| The Portrait Of A Lady | Defy a harlot patriot | Robinson Crusoe | Obscure erosion |
| Nicholas Nickelby | Yank clinches boil | Martin Chuzzlewit | Mutant whizz relic |
| David Copperfield | Deprived acid flop | A Tale Of Two Cities | Ciao to latest wife |
| Crime And Punishment | Dinnertime chum naps | Bleak House | Oh! Elk abuse |
| A Passage To India | Against soap idea | A Christmas Carol | Scratch is amoral |
| A Pair Of Blue Eyes | Failures obey ape | The Turn Of The Screw | Throw free chestnut |
| Lady Chatterley's Lover | Cleverly steady harlot | Treasure Island | Neural disaster |
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