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Best Selling Authors ~ Children's Authors ~ Classic Novelists ~ Crime Writers
Sci-Fi & Fantasy Authors ~ Classic Novels


Best Selling Authors

Morris WestWorst miserIrving WallaceCrawling alive
Alistair MacleanI am a Satan callerAnne McCaffreyFancy farce men
Patricia CornwallNow practical liarAnne RiceAcne rein
Joseph WambaughHa! Huge swamp jobTom RobbinsSnort bimbo
Irving StoneOnset virginStephen KingHe's pink gent
Virginia AndrewsArid raving swineJackie CollinsClinical jokes
Barbara ErskineAsk brain-bearerDean KoontzOn zonk date
Catherine CooksonNo! A shock erectionMinette WaltersMaster new title
Craig ThomasGot charismaThomas HarrisHash arms riot
Wilbur SmithHi! Bum twirlsJames HerbertJeer them bras
Barbara CartlandA drab carnal bratDanielle SteelSenile led tale
Michael CrichtonChronic lame itchLen DeightonO! Thin legend
Robin CookOi! Rock nobIrvine WelshHis new liver
Salman RushdieSmashed urinalClive BarkerBlacker river
Barbara Taylor BradfordDartboard far-away blobAnita BrooknerKarate on Robin
Jilly CooperJolly copierDaphne du MaurierDream up nude hair
Ian FlemingFailing menFrederick ForsythFreed frisky torch
Stephen HawkingA knight's nephewGeorgette HeyerHe regret ego yet
Susan TownsendNow sadness nutJoanna TrollopePolar jet on loan

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Children's Authors

Enid BlytonTiny blondeA. A. MilneAm alien
Michael BondHim once baldBonnie BryantOn brainy bent
Beverly ClearyVery racy belleRichmal CromptonImp-control charm
Roald DahlA hard dollLucy DanielsA silly dunce
Paula DanzigerPale Nazi guardMary NortonNa! Try moron
Nina BawdenI wanna bendAlan GibbonsLoan bin bags
Michael HardcastleHell! Academic trashDick King SmithMidnight kicks
Clive KingGiven lickSheila LavelleVile as hell ale
Clive Staples LewisSwap selective illsAnn MartinMantra inn
Brian MorseI'm rear snobWillard PriceIll wierd crap
Paul ShiptonHa! Pupil snotKaye UmanskyMay nuke a sky
Susan CoolidgeUncle is goodLeon GarfieldAgile fondler

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Classic Novelists

Charles DickensClashed nickersThomas HardyShy hot drama
Louisa May AlcottCalamity to a soulCharlotte BronteOnce brothel tart
Marcel ProustCreator's lumpWilkie CollinsNice! I kill slow
Joseph ConradJo chased pornDaniel DefoeDo feed alien!
Alexandre DumasDamn! Sexual dareBenjamin DisraeliIs in breadline jam
William FaulknerKill weariful manF. Scott FitzgeraldGlazed strict toff
Emily BronteTo merely binErnest HemmingwayWhimsy meaner gent
Rudyard KiplingAridly drunk pigD. H. LawrenceDrawn leech
Thomas MannMan shot manGeorge OrwellWell, ogre gore
John SteinbackHa! Inject knobsRobert Louis StevensonTorn love-bite sourness
Anthony TrollopeHe totally on pornMark TwainTwin karma

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Crime Writers

Dame Agatha ChristieI am a right death caseNatasha CooperAha! Not a corpse
Robert CharlesBrothels racerColin DexterExcel on dirt
Carole Nelson DouglasCool slanderous angelMargaret ErskineSneakier rat germ
Simon ShawSmash winoGeorge GoodchildOgre godchild ego
John GrishamShh! Groin jamCharles LeaderSad career hell
Bob LangleyAngle lobbyRoger OrmerodGroomed error
Miss Ruth RendellHill's murder nestJoy FieldingDie, fling joy!
Dorothy SimpsonNot so dishy rompPeter RobinsonBones in report
Rex StoutSour textArthur UpfieldLaid further up

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Sci-Fi & Fantasy Authors

Terry BrooksStory brokerPhilip Jose FarmerOh! Frail pimp jeers
Terry PratchettTry pert chatterUrsula Le GuinUsual gin rule
Michael MoorcockCalm comic hookerKim Stanley RobinsonAm loony-bin stinkers
William GibsonI'm wailing slobPiers AnthonyHorny panties
Stephen BaxterHas bent expertsArthur C. ClarkeThe rural cracker
Harlan EllisonAliens all hornRobert A. HeinleinBent heroine liar
Bruce SterlingCretin rubs legMarion Zimmer BradleyMy bizarre mild moaner
Orson Scott CardSod contractors!Stephen R. DonaldsonHandles stoned porn
Allan Dean FosterFondle real SatanNeil GaimanI'm alien nag
Robert E. HowardDrat! Whore boreRobert RankinTerror in bank
Storm ConstantineNo intact monstersStanislaw LemWell ... Satanism
Robert JordanAnd terror jobKim NewmanMen ink maw

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Classic Novels

Pride And PrejudiceInduce jaded ripperSense And SensibilityIs tiny lesbian's needs
The Woman In WhiteWith the mean winoGreat ExpectationsExcite tart on pages
The Portrait Of A LadyDefy a harlot patriotRobinson CrusoeObscure erosion
Nicholas NickelbyYank clinches boilMartin ChuzzlewitMutant whizz relic
David CopperfieldDeprived acid flopA Tale Of Two CitiesCiao to latest wife
Crime And PunishmentDinnertime chum napsBleak HouseOh! Elk abuse
A Passage To IndiaAgainst soap ideaA Christmas CarolScratch is amoral
A Pair Of Blue EyesFailures obey apeThe Turn Of The ScrewThrow free chestnut
Lady Chatterley's LoverCleverly steady harlotTreasure IslandNeural disaster

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